Ear Infections Suck

Yesterday I was driving home and was gripped by a terrible pain in my ear. Turns out, after many consultations with my family doctor [as in my best friend who frequently had ear aches [and wet the bed] until she was about 14], and even more consultations with Google, my ear pain was due to an inner ear infection. [Don’t worry, I’ll be heading to my actual doctor on Monday to make sure and get some antibiotics to actually cure it.

Amanda, the one with the mad ear ache cred, decided that we must heat oil, and drop it into my ear. We consulted Google, yet again, and found that this was a credible ear ache treatment. After a quick phone call with her mother – the queen of ear aches – we now knew how to safely heat oil, and drop it into an ear.

I never got ear aches as a kid, but now that I’ve experienced the hella pain that they involve, I want to be an advocate for ear achers everywhere and provide a photographic instruction manual on how to help relieve the pain!

#1.We heated olive oil in a pot of water so as to heat it evenly – as in, took oil, put it in a bowl, microwaved it, and made sure to stir it so I didn’t get burning hot oil burns in my ear. Don’t forget to test it on the inside of your wrist! My father didn’t test something for heat the other day and now he looks like he was in a fight with a big huge burn on his lip.

#2. I then lay on the floor. You could do this on a bed, or just stick your head on the counter so it’s level. I suggest getting a pillow to keep your head level if you’re on the floor/bed. Have a friend who is trust worthy enough to stick a knife dipped in warm oil in your ear – without stabbing you.

#3. Don’t forget the ear. Preferably an ear that is in extreme ear ache pain – unless you just really like putting warm oil in healthy ears…

#4. Amanda then dipped a knife [use a butter knife!] in the oil and hold it vertically so it makes a perfect little droppy at the end. You can use an ear dropper if you have one. I suggest that. It’s a grand idea. We prefer the magic voodoo way of doing things.

#5. Amanda made drops in my ear until it was all full of oil and stuff. This feel so nice. It relieves all the nasty pain and stuff. I appreciated it.

#6. I stuffed a cotton ball in my ear. Don’t let it get lost in there!!!

After all that, you can pretty much do whatever. Google recommended sleeping on the opposite side of your aching ear [if your left ear is infecto, sleep on your right side, so the oil drips into your brain!].

I am personally watching Legally Blonde with a cotton ball stuffed in my ear. It’s pretty fantastic. Hopefully this magical remedy helps with me feel less incapacitated, but I’m moderately doubtful… I will report back soon!

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